On Being Judgemental

On Being Judgemental

Recently I stumbled upon this pretty disturbing site. For the sake of not painting a target sign on my blog, I'm choosing to withhold the name. However if you've been blogging for a while then you know exactly "which" site I'm talking about.

Basically the whole purpose of this community is for people to anonymously tear apart bloggers who have committed what THEY deem to be horrible blogging atrocities. Like right now, I've probably committed at least eight different blogging faux pas that would typically send them into a flurry of angry messages in forum dedicated to just  how terrible my blogging skills are. 

This little discovery has actually helped to clarify a few things for me.  I always wondered why it was that one of my favorite bloggers, Don't Quote The Raven, consistently has her comment section flooded with nasty, degrading messages. Seriously she can be posting about how she went on a Missionary trip to Africa, scaled a ten story building that was engulfed in flames and managed to rescue a set of triplets using only a glass of water and a spool of thread, and yet still, those anonymous commentors will find a reason to hate.

And it's not just online. It's everywhere. I happened to be in the mall the other day listening to a group of women tear down another lady. I mean they were brutal. It reminded me a bit of middle school.  Anyhow, I noticed that they suddenly changed topics, and realized that the lady they had been talking about had come back to the table. They then proceeded to fawn over her sweater...the very same sweater that they had been joking about just minutes earlier...

Now that's just wrong.

Trust me, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not perfect. Not even a little. But seriously, do people not realize how absolutely hurtful they can be sometimes? Amanda Todd, Tyler Cleminti, Megan Meier any of these names ring a bell? Or more recently, the nurse who killed herself over the whole Royal family prank phone call debacle.

We can never know what's going on inside someones head. We'll never know just how close to giving up they are. But I do know that I would NEVER want to be the straw that breaks the camels back. I would NEVER want to have to live with the fact that I was responsible for another human being taking their own life. That I'm the reason that a parent has to bury their child, or that a child has to grow up without a parent. I couldn't live with it. Could you?

So my request to you guys today, is to try to stop being so judgmental. Like I said, I do it, but I'm working on me. I don't expect the world to turn into a utopian society overnight, but I do know that I want to be the kind of woman that my daughter admires and aspires to be herself. A wise man by the name Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi once said "Be the change in the world you wish to be."

Until next time,

XOXO Reese

15 comments :

  1. great post Reese. I totally agree and having lost 3 friends to suicide for reasons unknown, suicide prevention is so important to me! we can all start by not being judgmental!

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    1. That is horrible Dara. I'm so sorry that happened to you and their families... That's got to be difficult. I'm happy that you're making it a point to help others though.

      Everyone is so busy passing judgements and gossiping about each other that they don't realize how much time they're wasting. Life is too short.

      Sending happy thoughts and hugs your way!

      Reese

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  2. One word for this post: love. Thank you, Reese, for posting about this. Bullying is HUGE in schools now (I'm a teacher) and if I could do anything in my power to totally stop it, I would. Not even just in schools, throughout the world.

    Sara
    Miss V's Busy Bees

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    1. Thanks for doing what you do Sara :) There's no way I would have the strength and patience to be a teacher. You guys have my utmost respect.

      I fear for how things will be once my daughter starts going to school. I never thought I'd be the type to home school, but it's definitely something that I'm willing to consider.

      Reese

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  3. I really like this post. Lately I've been having issues with people making rude comments to me, and I usually don't say anything back to the people, but their comments really bother me and stay on my mind for a while. I try to be a nice person, but there are so many ADULT bullies out there, and I don't want to act like them, but I might have to start telling people off and telling them about themselves. It's really sad how rude and judgmental people can be, even so called friends.

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    1. Ah yes, the adult bullies. I remember as a child, when ever I would get upset over something another kid did to me, the adults were quick to assure me that it got better as I got older. However, they neglected to tell me that bullying doesn't stop, you just learn how to manage it better.

      I totally feel you on the not wanting to say anything back. It's not worth going down to their level. Keep your head up and know for every mean person out there, there is an amazingly sweet person who's just as in need of a good friend!

      Reese

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  4. Great post!!! This same message has been on my mind lately. We never know what someone else is going through. I bet those DJs from Australia never thought that their prank would result in something so tragic. We have got to stop being judgemental and learn to be more compassionate.

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    1. Now if only we could get the other 7 billion people to think the same way as you... Therein lies the problem. It's pretty sad though.

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  5. Ok I'm back to comment on my computer :) Loved this post, and thank you for your super sweet words about me and my blog! Made my day, really. I know exactly what site you are talking about and I always thought if I ever saw those people in real life, I would give them a big hug, because Lord know they NEED one!

    I just have NO idea how they have so much time to spend (waste) on talking about other peoples lives! It seriously boggles my mind. I mean, they pulled up my real estate records! So bizarre. So funny! I can't possibly be that important to them! I sure as hell know they aren't to me! So while they are busy obsessing over me and my life, I am busy living it (and currently living it in Kauai) and having fun!

    This was a great post. I love how you wrote it and I feel the exact same way :)

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    1. Wow, real estate records? Now that's just creepy. I thought real estate records weren't considered public information?? I don't even want to know how they managed to get a hold of that information. Sounds eerily reminiscent to a Lifetime movie I saw once.

      The funny thing about this "situation" is that while they're steadily hating on you, they're just helping you increase traffic to your site. Enjoy your vacay in Kauai. I suppose in some way they helped fund your trip ;) lol this just gets more hilarious every time I think about it...

      Reese

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  6. I know the site you are talking about. So sad coz I stubbled across it when the hot topic was my on fav blogger. If someone doesnt have anything good to say, they shouldn't say anything at all. But I guess thats too much to ask of small minded people.

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    1. It's sad isn't it? I stumbled upon that site purely by mistake. I googled one of my favorite bloggers and ended up there.

      It's somewhat ironic that their site is actually helping the bloggers they're talking about get better page views and in turn increases their profits.

      Reese

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  7. This is something close to my heart. I try to always think the best of another. We frequently as people think we automatically know what someone else's intentions are and we don't.

    Sometimes we do things in the blogging world and real world simply from ignorance. I know I've probably committed some blogging atrocities myself. I doubt any were intentional.

    If there is one thing I've learned in my life it's that the more judgmental a person is, the less they have gone through and experienced in their own life.

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  8. I actually don't know the blog.
    People who are ridiculously judgmental and make fun of people are normally picking on someone for something they do not have or cannot have. Sometimes they do this just because they do not love themselves. It is really sad.

    I honestly am scared to raise a child in the world today (when that day comes) as well as putting the child in a public school.

    I was picked on elementary & jr high. I remember being called master splinter in jr high bc I have a pointy nose. How ridiculous is that? People are so cruel.

    This is a good post.

    And people should just concentrate on who cares what people think. Really. Truly.

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  9. Very very good post! The judging has gotten completely out of hand. And I agree completely, you never know what someone is dealing with, so be careful how you treat them.

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