Lately I've struggled with feelings of inadequacy. Most of it due to where I currently am in my life versus where I thought I would be at this point. Five years ago, I had it all planned out. I knew what I wanted, when I wanted it, and how I would get it. It seemed so easy. Too easy.
Too bad life doesn't happen that way.
So I had to step back, regroup, refocus and redirect. And it has taken time.
A lot longer than I anticipated. But I've finally realized that I am content. I finally realize that I may not have the fabulous career I had envisioned, or the trendiest wardrobe, or even the quaint little townhouse in Greenwich Village.
I have none of these things. But what I do have is much more than all of those material possessions combined. I have a man who makes it his life's mission to ensure that I am happy and loves me not in spite of my shortcomings and flaws, but because of them. I have a little girl who, with one simple smile, has the ability to chase away all of my doubts and fears. Who gives me a reason to push a little bit harder every day.
They are enough. They are so much more than enough. They are my whole world. Simply by having them in my life, I feel I've accomplished more than I ever thought possible.
It's not that I no longer aspire to reach for more. To be something more. I do, but at the same time, my happiness is no longer dependent upon how successful I am. I've taken that little voice that tells me that I've somehow failed out of the equation. And for the first time in a long time I finally feel complete.
Henry David Thoreau once said, "Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves." The first time I heard it, I didn't understand. What I didn't realize at the time is that I hadn't yet begun my journey. I hadn't given myself time to get lost. But finally, I understand. In all this searching for success and gratification, I finally found the one thing that matters the most. I found myself.
Photo cred) cafemayibuye