So after an exhaustively tiring week, it was awesome just to
spend the weekend doing absolutely nothing except exploring downtown Charlotte
with James and Jasmine. Doing nothing
gave me some time to sort through my ever crowed brain and ponder the craziness
that is my life. I guess when it comes to mommy-hood, I have quite a ways to go
before I become the subject matter expert. I’m still adapting to my role nine
months later. I’m a bit slow on the uptake. I don’t think it helped matters that
the first four months were spent hiding away in the apartment. But, I have no one to blame but myself, still
I wish I had been given a heads up about what to expect when breastfeeding.
At 25, I’m still a bit shy when it comes to baring the bod.
Even in my pre-pregnancy days I was a bit reluctant to wear overly revealing
clothing. Now days you have a better chance of seeing Tebow bringing the tuna casserole
to an atheist luncheon than you do of catching me in a bikini. Which is why I’m
still not too keen on the idea of breastfeeding Jasmine in public. Now don’t
get me wrong, I’ve fed her in the car, and a few other places, but I’ve never
popped out one of my girls in the middle of a crowded restaurant to feed her. So far, I guess I’ve been lucky.
Anyhow, back to my original point. I remember the one thing
that scared me the most about becoming a mother was the idea that my social life
would just completely wither up and die like Lindsey Lohan's career after I Know
Who Killed Me. However, I’m finding that it’s still very possible to have
hobbies, to work out, and even to visit with friends.
I think that in a way motherhood is what you make it. If you
want to be miserable, and constantly complain about how hectic your life is, it
will be. Personally I’ve always been a glass half-full kind of person. I know mothers
who have four children, and they are always on the go, exploring new places, volunteering,
taking up new projects, ect. I also know mothers who have one child, and do
nothing but sit around and reminisces about how much “easier” their lives were
before they had children and how much they miss those days. I have no sympathy
for the latter. Don’t get me wrong, there were certain aspects about my life
that were “easier” before Jasmine came into the picture, but there has never
been a moment when I wished that I didn’t have her because she’s putting a
crimp in my social life. Every night as I lay my daughter down in her crib, I
look at that sweet face and thank God for my daughter. I just hope that when
she’s sixteen, has multiple body piercings, purple hair, and is talking back to
me, I will be able to look at her and see that same sweet little baby girl whose
smile lights up the room every morning I come in to wake her up.
-Reese