A Toddler Walks Into the Room With a Permanent Marker

Silence is golden. Unless you have children, in which case it's just frightening. Case in point:

And because me daughter is such an overachiever...

Naturally, this latest "incident" deserved to be showcased on my blog. And because I'm a big believer in passing along the knowledge that comes with parenting a toddler, I've decided to turn my misfortune into a learning experience for you all. And so this post was born. 

Here is my 9 Step Approach to Removing Permanent marker From Your Child. Be sure to take good notes.

Step 1: Take photos to document this incident for future blackmail

Step 2: Go to Walgreens with permanent color covered child in tow and smile at horrified onlookers

Step 3: Purchase makeup remover

Step 4: Go home and take more photos

Step 5: Wrestle with child while attempting to wipe them down

Step 6: Take a short break to rehydrate with a glass of wine

Step 7: Continue reenacting scenes from WrestleMania with child while attempting to remove permanent marker

Step 8: Briefly entertain the thought of taking an impromptu trip to visit the grandparents and then making a break for it once they have their grandchild in their arms.

Step 7: Tweet about the latest incident (although this can be done intermittently throughout the process)

Step 8: Indulge in another glass of wine while writing a post with instructions on how to remove permanent marker from a child

Step 9: Tuck child into bed, turn off lights, and cherish the sound of her soft little giggles as she pretends to be asleep. Come back when she's fast asleep, peer down at her, and thank your lucky stars you were blessed with such a precious gift.