Last year I posted my goals for the year. I'm happy to say that I was able to cross off all but one goal for 2013. And I'm proud of myself for those little victories. Some of those accomplishments were a long time coming. Things to truly be thankful for. But this year, I'm doing things a little differently. This year I have no resolutions other than to just live. Truly be in the moment and enjoy life. In some ways, now that I'm finally finished with school, I feel as though my life is finally beginning. This huge cloud that has been hanging over my head for the past five years has finally dissipated and has opened up a world of possibilities. But then there's the fear.
I can't even describe how incredibly scary going to college in 2013 was. Once upon a time, if you went to college and got decent grades, you were guaranteed a cushy 9-5, with a quaint little house and a white picket fence. In 2013, things have changed. The pressure and competition is unbelievable.
So for now, I'm trying not to harp on that. I'm trying to focus on 2014. No resolutions, no expectations. I suppose that's the thing about creating resolutions. We never take into account the fact that we have a limited amount of control. Sure, you can graduate, but you can't force a company to hire you. Sure you can make plans to meet a nice guy or get married, but you can't control what happens in that relationship. What happens after we get the things we hoped for?
I want to set 2014 off by giving my expectations a boot and welcoming in life. Dirty, messy, real, life. A life that can't be micromanaged and organized all the time. A life that is full of spontaneity and brimming over with imperfections. I don't need a list to remind me to be a better mother or that I want to run a 10k. I'm just going to do it. And smile when I succeed.
2013 taught me that I can't please everyone. There will always a card I forget to mail and a dinner I neglect to cook. And that's fine. I was not put on this earth for the sole purpose of pleasing everyone around me. And it took me an incredible amount of failures, and the inevitable guilt that comes attached to those failures, to figure that out. Happiness has to start inward and work its way outward. Not the other way around. Be happy with yourself. Be satisfied in your accomplishments. The rest will fall into place. And if it doesn't, then maybe it's not suppose to be there in the first place.
There's a lot to be said for just doing things to just do them. Not because others are watching. The truth is, we share this planet with 7 billion other people. Someone will always be watching. And yes, some will be secretly hoping you will fail. In the end, you are the one that ultimately decides whether it was a failure or a lesson. There's a great little saying by Winston Churchill, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts." My greatest hope for you in 2014 is that you continue. When life sends you to your knees. Pray. Get back up and start again.
So here's to a better day, a better year, a better life. May 2014 be a beautiful year for you. Happy New Year my dear friends.